Well, it’s that time of year, where happiness and glee meet sadness and longing. It’s the second year without my mom but I don’t quite remember last year and so this year, I’m cognizant and feeling and breathing in and out every moment. It’s calm. Yup. Without rehashing it all, put simply: It’s calm without my mom.
My mom was the serious one. The boss. The rule maker. My dad was the goofy one. The artist. The rule breaker. He died too young. And I miss him. A lot. Not every day. I’d be lying. Life is too hectic and crazy for that. But he seeps into my spirit often, especially this time of year.
One thing we all did as a family, and my brother and I have tried to continue, is that on Christmas Eve Eve—tonight—we watch It’s a Wonderful Life. I’ve written about this before. Somewhere. Not here. Egg nog, spiked of course when we got older, the night my mom let her hair down. The night we giggled. The night we cried. And the night we just had nowhere to go but be together in the warmth of family. I never didn’t want to do this. Not as a teenager. Not when I went away to college. And not now. It’s still one of my favorite movies....
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